Jack Daniels vs. Modern Drunkard

Foreign policy, the war in Iraq, the minimum wage . . . nothing remotely compares to the travesty of this report from Modern Drunkard Magazine that Jack Daniels Distillery is tampering with their traditional recipe by reducing the alcohol content of their whisky from 86 to 80 proof, a scandal which I'd discovered through my daily perusal of The Old Oligarch.

I've always been a Jack Daniels man, and so I dashed off a quick email to Phil Lynch (VP of Corporate Communications and Public Relations at Brown-Forman) to voice my discontent, assuring him that "Until this grievous breach of tradition is repaired, I will be switching my choice of spirits."

So a week later, I recieve the following from Jack Daniels:

Hello Christopher,

We sure appreciate your taking the time to write. The folks at Modern Drunkard Magazine are worked up about our lowering the proof of our Black Label whiskey a little bit. Apparently they're judging our whiskey simply by how much alcohol is in it. We're awfully glad you've given us the opportunity to respond, and to explain how important quality and tradition are here at the Jack Daniel Distillery.

It might interest you to know that we've been bottling Black Label at 80 proof for several years in a number of states and countries. Our number one concern is to make sure our whiskey is of the highest quality. That means starting out with select grains for our mash and the cool, iron-free water that flows from the Cave Spring. It means maturing our whiskey in new white oak barrels. It also means following through with an extra step of mellowing our whiskey drop by drop through 10 feet of charcoal to make it a smooth sipping Tennessee Whiskey.

Look, I'm concerned about quality as much as the next guy, but I grew up with 86 proof. I like 86 proof. You don't mess with a man's whiskey. But Tom Jervis thinks I doth protest too much:

You see, Mr. Jack's whiskey-making tradition is very important to all of us at the Jack Daniel Distillery. That's why we take it to heart when folks suggest that a lower proof whiskey is somehow a lower quality. Fact is everywhere we've been at 80 proof the number of folks enjoying our whiskey is growing. Mr. Jack lowered the proof of his whiskey when he went from selling it by the barrel to selling it by the bottle because he knew that's the way folks actually were drinking it - at a lower proof. The same is true today.

We hope you'll reconsider your decision and stay with our Tennessee Whiskey. We realize that quality and tradition mean a lot to you, just as they have to Jack Daniel's for more than 135 years. So we would like to invite you, if you're ever traveling near Lynchburg, to take the time to drop by the Distillery and enjoy a taste of our Tennessee Whiskey with our team of tasters. We are confident you will agree that our taste and quality have not changed! Please call (931) 759-7822 and ask for Randy Fanning, and he'll make sure you have a personal tasting.

Again, thanks for writing. We hope we'll hear from you again soon.

Regards,

Tom Jervis
Jack Daniel Distillery

Well, Mr. Jervis sounds like a right fine gentleman, and I'd be willing to give him the benefit of a doubt. I'd even like to take up his offer for a personal tasting, but honestly it's going to be some time before I'm in the neighborhood.

So, I'm posting this with the understanding that my readers won't mind giving Randy Fanning a call and sampling the 80 proof in my stead. Anybody game?